Content Warning: Burnout and other mental health struggles.

In September 2025, I left my role as Developer Educator at Directus in favour of becoming Chief Technology Officer (CTO) at Incredible Holding GmbH.

The role came at a time when I needed to respond to the changes I was seeing in the tech industry. I didn’t become CTO to gain power, I stepped into the role to influence how our team operates and to address issues that many developers face systemically.

When the Burnout Hit

I loved my role at Directus. It was my first ever full-time role, and the biggest team I’ve ever worked for at 50+ people (don’t laugh! I’ve been a consultant for the vast majority of my career.) There was an air of kindness, respect and motivation I hadn’t witnessed before, and I’m grateful for my time there.

Outside of my role, the industry I loved was changing rapidly. Conversations shifted from “How do we build?” to “How do we replace?”. From mentorship to metrics. From humans to data points. Job hunting in 2025 and beyond has been brutal for many, myself included.

By the time June 2025 had rolled around, I had lost the ability to focus, to sleep properly, to hope. I had spent a speaker dinner or two too many at software conferences crying on the shoulders of dear friends (thank you my loves) and I had to be directly told:

Honey, that’s burnout.

This wasn’t just exhaustion. This was grief.

My First Ever Mental Health Break

I took a break from work. That same month, I talked to my boss and went on mental health leave. I was a contractor for Directus, so I had no sick leave, but I luckily was able to use my Paid-Time-Off days.

After a month, I realised I was far worse-off than I expected. I extended my leave, and my time with Directus came to an end.

Many engineers I spoke with were facing similar pressures, often without the support I was able to access.

During that time, I deliberately disconnected from the world of tech. A summer break I hadn’t had since my days as a student. I hadn’t realised how much I needed this. I took up hobbies. I spent time with loved ones, including myself.

Over time, I realised I had an identity that extended outside of who I am as a woman in tech. As a human in tech. I’m not a role. I’m not a label. I’m not a LinkedIn post. I’m a person.

Going Back to my Roots

My first ever work experience was at Incredible Bee, making macOS apps. The CEO took a big chance on me and allowed me to hit the ground running with writing apps in Objective-C, which was a game-changing experience for me. Over time, I pivoted to work in larger stages, on more “modern and exciting” tech stacks, collaborating with larger entities.

When the time came to look for work again, I reflected on the work I want to do. I came back to the CEO and proposed leading the tech while he focussed on other business parts of the company. He eagerly agreed. The existing relationship allowed us to quickly align responsibilities and focus on structural improvements for the team.

Power, Protection, and Developer Advocacy

DevRel gave me a microphone, empathy, and developer proximity. In my previous role, I could advocate for developers. Now, I can change policies, hire thoughtfully, and protect teams from burnout.

Advocacy without structural power is fragile. Structural power without advocacy is dangerous.

I’ve lived on one side. Now I’m trying to bridge both.

My Relationship with Developer Relations

I still care deeply about developer relations. But my role now requires different priorities: I have to balance advocacy with structural responsibility. My role has evolved from amplifying voices to shaping systems. I now make decisions about hiring, budgets, and team structure to ensure developer well-being and equitable opportunity.

That doesn’t mean my relationship with DevRel is over. It means it’s evolved. I now try to bring structural support to the teams and people I once supported purely through visibility and influence. My approach is less performative and more grounded in authority that can actually move the needle.

What Kind of CTO Will I Be?

I want to be a CTO who builds structures and processes that enable the team to succeed, with measurable outcomes in growth, quality, and well-being, rather than personal recognition or optics.

The company is smaller than where I’ve been. The metrics are smaller. Consistency matters more than quarterly results. Taking on a smaller team wasn’t just a preference. Leaving a larger, well-funded environment allowed me to focus on making structural changes where they matter most.

Small decisions, like adjusting timelines or workloads, can prevent overwork and create space for learning. These structural changes have tangible effects on day-to-day experience.

My goal as CTO is to address systemic gaps in how developers are supported: through policies, processes, and team culture that prevent burnout, create equitable opportunities, and enable sustainable growth.

I’m Still Here, as Resilient as Ever

It’s apparent to those of us that are paying attention that the tech industry is consolidating power upward. I realised the structures I cared about were shifting in ways I couldn’t influence from my previous role.

So I stopped shouting from the outside and stepped inside.

I don’t know yet whether I’ll get it right. But I know what it feels like to be on the other side of these decisions, exhausted, unseen, running on fumes. That’s not something I’m willing to forget.